We’ve all heard the trope that opposites attract when it comes to romantic love, but why is this the case? We’re going to take a closer look, and find out why you’re often more able to find love with someone who is very different from you.
What is it about difference, rather than familiarity, that is so attractive?
Opposites Are Mysterious
When we first meet someone who is totally different from ourselves and everything we recognize, it’s easy to perceive them as mysterious - exotic even. When someone is instantly recognizable as being similar to ourselves, we can find them predictable and boring, whereas with someone different, we anticipate surprise and become all the more intrigued.
We Value Qualities We Don’t Possess
When we meet someone who seems very different from us, it may be because we are honing in on qualities that we ourselves feel we lack. For example, you might feel like quite a neurotic person, and when you meet someone who seems chilled and laid back, you will likely respect and find this person attractive and want to be around them - perhaps hoping they could teach you something.
Balance is Important
Two people who have the same extreme personality traits don’t always encourage each other to grow and change as people. For example, two very shy people can sometimes only make each other more shy. Having two opposites can help balance each other out.
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